Just commenting here to say that I really like your writing! I remember reading the first version of this blog post about 4 years ago, when I was a high schooler in Bangkok who just started getting into theory. So reading this again on Substack as someone a year away from graduating from a US college, who's still reading (some) theory, feels pretty full circle.
Also, any chance you're working on publishing a book or anything? I'd be interested in buying a copy if you are.
Thanks for the kind words ! Even if I feel mildly awful having been read by high schoolers, like did you really need to hear my nonsense? Where do you stand on theory now? Do you have theorists you consider friends and enemies?
Regardless, that's genuinely sweet of you to say. I'm working on book-length publication -- it's a struggle, but it's one of those things where you have to fail dozens of times first.
Hmm, I haven’t yet read a theorist whereupon finishing their book I felt like knee dropping them… which is probably an indicator that I haven’t read widely enough. But I’ve definitely got some I’d consider friends. I guess I’d say Edward Said and Richard Rorty? I’ve read Said’s Orientalism and Culture and Imperialism, and have been working through a pdf of his book on Palestine. He seems like a really kind guy (that's an understatement), and is also just a beautiful writer. I hope to go through all his work at some point! As for Rorty, I’ve actually only read one of his books (Contingency, Irony, Solidarity — Rorty could take some notes on Said’s catchier titles), but I’ve seen excerpts of his other writings online, and have generally found his work to be eye opening. I feel a little self conscious name dropping these two big-name theorists, but I'm being a hundred percent genuine here.
As for my stance on theory, while I know compared to others I’ve read far less, I’ve definitely reeled back my intake over the years because I feel that too much theory isn’t good for one’s wellbeing. I mean, you sort of touch on this in the essay here, where reading theory becomes a form of distraction (not to be the phone guy, but I’ve noticed times where my online scroll-consume-scroll activity bears semblance to burying my head in some huge concept, or zeroing in on dissecting some bias in me I need to ‘right’). I used to (and sometimes still do) get too hyper-aware of all these big structures and ideas, and end up running circles in my mind while the world kind of goes on. It’s one thing to have all these ideals and to read about all the different ways our world is unfair, and another to do that while searching for a job that likely will make me participate in perpetuating it. (Minor tangent: for me, the job is probably in tech - and as someone who believes in the creative/transformative power of tech but is really REALLY not liking the trajectory it’s going towards, it’s a slimy can of worms I’m still figuring out).
I guess this was my long-winded explanation of how I think theory (and other forms of criticizing/understanding society) are good in moderation. Read enough to know what’s up, stay curious, but keep your head screwed on so you can do something— all that jazz. Not exactly earth-shattering stuff, but definitely hard to implement. And there's so much I don't know, so it could be that I'm missing something. Hopefully all this worrying could just be something that kind of has to happen in one’s 20s?
Anyways, if you've gotten this far thanks for reading through. Also, I wanted to say another separate thanks for introducing Calvino (as well as some other authors) to me, and don’t worry, I’m not saying this to flatter you or anything. I didn't really have too many spaces to explore a wider range of books back in Thailand — there probably are many, but the only avenues I knew were through my teachers, one or two of my friends, and the Internet — so it’s actually because your blog writing references reading material so heavily that I even knew these books and people existed. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I want you to know that the ‘nonsense’ in your corner of the internet has had a hand in my curating of the stack of books I keep on my bedside table. Genuine thanks from me. Hope that’s not too cringe lol. (Writing this out now actually makes me a bit more hopeful about what people might be able to do with the Internet and all our futures.)
Happy to help. I think you're right about how theory-brain is a phenomenon of one's 20s, to a large degree, but the older I get the more questions I have, and I think that if you're a curious person, that will always be the case. Granted, I am more confident in my worldview, but when you are more confident in a worldview that the world fails to conform to, you become the guy thinking of the withering Adorno argument in the Wednesday team meeting, and it sucks. In my experience, the worrying changes, but it stays present. A mix of grace, humility, and absurdism (the last of the three being by far the easiest to accomplish) seems to be the only way to handle it all. It occurs to me as I type that that I kind of just reworded contingency-irony-solidarity. Sorry for the plagiarism Richard.
"The rush to books and universities is like the rush to the public house. People want to drown their realization of the difficulties of living properly in this grotesque contemporary world, they want to forget their own deplorable inefficiency as artists in life." - Aldous Huxley, Point Counter Point
I felt that. Sounds like you'd feel it too. I think about that quote at least weekly.
Despite my arch comment earlier, I'm legit grateful to have the opportunity to give people good things to read and all that. Which is a more cringe thing to say, but I'll own it.
Just commenting here to say that I really like your writing! I remember reading the first version of this blog post about 4 years ago, when I was a high schooler in Bangkok who just started getting into theory. So reading this again on Substack as someone a year away from graduating from a US college, who's still reading (some) theory, feels pretty full circle.
Also, any chance you're working on publishing a book or anything? I'd be interested in buying a copy if you are.
Thanks for the kind words ! Even if I feel mildly awful having been read by high schoolers, like did you really need to hear my nonsense? Where do you stand on theory now? Do you have theorists you consider friends and enemies?
Regardless, that's genuinely sweet of you to say. I'm working on book-length publication -- it's a struggle, but it's one of those things where you have to fail dozens of times first.
Hmm, I haven’t yet read a theorist whereupon finishing their book I felt like knee dropping them… which is probably an indicator that I haven’t read widely enough. But I’ve definitely got some I’d consider friends. I guess I’d say Edward Said and Richard Rorty? I’ve read Said’s Orientalism and Culture and Imperialism, and have been working through a pdf of his book on Palestine. He seems like a really kind guy (that's an understatement), and is also just a beautiful writer. I hope to go through all his work at some point! As for Rorty, I’ve actually only read one of his books (Contingency, Irony, Solidarity — Rorty could take some notes on Said’s catchier titles), but I’ve seen excerpts of his other writings online, and have generally found his work to be eye opening. I feel a little self conscious name dropping these two big-name theorists, but I'm being a hundred percent genuine here.
As for my stance on theory, while I know compared to others I’ve read far less, I’ve definitely reeled back my intake over the years because I feel that too much theory isn’t good for one’s wellbeing. I mean, you sort of touch on this in the essay here, where reading theory becomes a form of distraction (not to be the phone guy, but I’ve noticed times where my online scroll-consume-scroll activity bears semblance to burying my head in some huge concept, or zeroing in on dissecting some bias in me I need to ‘right’). I used to (and sometimes still do) get too hyper-aware of all these big structures and ideas, and end up running circles in my mind while the world kind of goes on. It’s one thing to have all these ideals and to read about all the different ways our world is unfair, and another to do that while searching for a job that likely will make me participate in perpetuating it. (Minor tangent: for me, the job is probably in tech - and as someone who believes in the creative/transformative power of tech but is really REALLY not liking the trajectory it’s going towards, it’s a slimy can of worms I’m still figuring out).
I guess this was my long-winded explanation of how I think theory (and other forms of criticizing/understanding society) are good in moderation. Read enough to know what’s up, stay curious, but keep your head screwed on so you can do something— all that jazz. Not exactly earth-shattering stuff, but definitely hard to implement. And there's so much I don't know, so it could be that I'm missing something. Hopefully all this worrying could just be something that kind of has to happen in one’s 20s?
Anyways, if you've gotten this far thanks for reading through. Also, I wanted to say another separate thanks for introducing Calvino (as well as some other authors) to me, and don’t worry, I’m not saying this to flatter you or anything. I didn't really have too many spaces to explore a wider range of books back in Thailand — there probably are many, but the only avenues I knew were through my teachers, one or two of my friends, and the Internet — so it’s actually because your blog writing references reading material so heavily that I even knew these books and people existed. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I want you to know that the ‘nonsense’ in your corner of the internet has had a hand in my curating of the stack of books I keep on my bedside table. Genuine thanks from me. Hope that’s not too cringe lol. (Writing this out now actually makes me a bit more hopeful about what people might be able to do with the Internet and all our futures.)
Best of luck with the book!
Happy to help. I think you're right about how theory-brain is a phenomenon of one's 20s, to a large degree, but the older I get the more questions I have, and I think that if you're a curious person, that will always be the case. Granted, I am more confident in my worldview, but when you are more confident in a worldview that the world fails to conform to, you become the guy thinking of the withering Adorno argument in the Wednesday team meeting, and it sucks. In my experience, the worrying changes, but it stays present. A mix of grace, humility, and absurdism (the last of the three being by far the easiest to accomplish) seems to be the only way to handle it all. It occurs to me as I type that that I kind of just reworded contingency-irony-solidarity. Sorry for the plagiarism Richard.
"The rush to books and universities is like the rush to the public house. People want to drown their realization of the difficulties of living properly in this grotesque contemporary world, they want to forget their own deplorable inefficiency as artists in life." - Aldous Huxley, Point Counter Point
I felt that. Sounds like you'd feel it too. I think about that quote at least weekly.
Despite my arch comment earlier, I'm legit grateful to have the opportunity to give people good things to read and all that. Which is a more cringe thing to say, but I'll own it.
Best of luck to you too.